Building confidence ... one outfit at a time

Confidence in yourself

Self-confidence comes when you feel secure in yourself and your abilities — not in an arrogant way, but in a realistic way. Confidence isn't about feeling superior to others. It's a quiet inner knowledge that you're capable, that you trust yourself and your capabilities. Many factors affect our self-confidence but in this blog I want to address just one: how what you wear affects how you feel about yourself.

This is the core of what I do - it is not about fashion, but it is about enabling men and women to dress in a way that adds to their self-confidence. In some cases it can even completely turn their low self-confidence around.

What happens when your clothes reflect you

If our clothes are the right colours and style for us, we will not only look good but will feel good, too. When our clothes show us off at our best, we automatically:

• stand taller
• look approachable
• look more authentic
• look more trustworthy
• look more confident to others
• have more status

which will all make people more likely to want to connect with us. And, if we are in business, make people more likely to want to buy from us.

Even if you are not keeping up with current fashion trends, you won't look dated because you will be presenting the most authentic view of yourself to the world. I, for example, often look better in vintage clothing, which is certainly not currently fashionable or on trend. Yet I look like 'me' and not as though I am trying to be someone else. Therefore, I am true to myself, and look trustworthy to others.

Change your mood and lift your confidence with your clothes

It is often tempting if we don't feel well, or have a low mood, to dress to match our mood. I know from experience that when a close friend suffered from clinical depression, their dress sense and self-presentation deteriorated considerably. It was obvious from the way that they looked that they were no longer taking care of themselves and that they were ill. Once they began to heal, their appearance improved too.

Nowadays, knowing the tricks of the trade as I do, I dress to OPPOSE my mood. If i feel miserable, or ill, or just down, I will put on clothes that I love, in my best colours, and will add makeup and accessories so that I look fine - even if I'm not feeling it. As I do this, and look in the mirror, I find my mood lifting. I see regularly with others too,  that clothing and colour have the power to change our mindset and to improve how we are feeling.

Building confidence with clothes is a gradual process

No-one is ever going to create 'their look' in one go. We are 'works in progress' as human beings and that goes as much for how we present ourselves as for our characters. As we change, so our look should, too - let it evolve as we do.

The key thing is to know that you are dressing to suit your skin tone, your body shape, and that you are expressing who you are. Your personality should come through in your clothes. Once you have the building blocks and start to look more 'put together' your confidence will show. Then little by little (or all at once - depending on your personality!) you can tweak your look to show more and more of who you are.

You can use the tools you have to experiment, to evolve and to play. You can begin to develop and express your individual style, regardless of what the world is saying is on trend. As your experiments make you feel good and you get positive feedback and compliments, you will experience a growth in your self-confidence. So the next time, you can try somethng new, or different, or avant-garde, or outlandish, or stylish, or classy - pushing your boundaries little by little. And having fun into the bargain.

Listen to your inner voice

We are all influenced by other people - whether our parents, or peers, or authority figures, and sometimes their voices can linger with us for years. They can continue to influence us long after their views are useful in our lives. The negative voices can cause us to put ourselves down so it is important to silence these so that we can hear our own inner voice. The more we listen to it, and put what is on the inside on the outside, the more authentic we shall look and the more confidence we shall build.

After all, clothes - apart from shielding us from the weather and covering our nakedness! -are just an illusion, so we can use them to create the illusion we want. They can correct any disproportion in our bodies. We can use them to draw attention to the parts of us that we like and away from the parts that we don't. We can create stories with them.

So, if you get it right on the outside, that will also help you on the inside - the two will reinforce each other and your confidence will grow. Little by little ... one outfit at a time.

Want to know more? Or book a call or session with me? Then ring me on 07790 653669